She Can Keep It
by Conterra-san
Summary: Artemis reflects on his life after the Lost Colony incident, while having a fragmented discussion with Butler. Who remains in his thoughts? Holly. . . HxA cute oneshot


A/N: Randomness that spawned from my study-laden thoughts.

My first Artemis fan fic that I've posted.

After the demon book _The Lost Colony_.

It's now slightly AU as I assumed he had twin sisters,

not twin brothers, but you can overlook that.

**She Can Keep It**

**by Conterra-hime**

**Artemis and his thoughts. . .of himself and another**

He only wanted to live a normal life.

He was sick of all the running around, all the craziness of a criminal life, all the people he hurt in the process. He had given most of it up, but even when he had stuck to merely curiosity-fulfilling projects, they had resulted in the same effects.

He wanted to live like other teenagers, he wanted to actually _be_ eighteen instead of being a fifteen-year-old who had been caught in a time warp and had lost three years of his life.

He wanted to be a good big brother to his twin siblings, Angeline and Apolla.

He wanted to be so many things that he knew were just out of his grasp.

No matter which way his highly intelligent mind tried to slice it, it came to the same conclusion. He couldn't stop his activities completely, he couldn't regain three lost years, and he didn't know how to be a big brother.

He almost felt like a complete failure, but part of him knew that that wasn't true.

_" Butler? Were you ever depressed when you were a teenager?" _

_"There was one time, when I was out in the jungles in Africa, when I let my uncle down. . ."_

_"And?" _

_"I wasn't the same for weeks."_

Maybe that was what he was experiencing. Depression? It sounded foreign on his tongue, like a bitter spice harvested for the first time and giving its bite to unwary settlers.

Maybe it was something else.

_" Butler?" _

_"I'm sorry, Artemis, but are you alright?" _

_"Perfectly fine, old friend. Did you ever care for someone?"_

_"You mean a woman?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Is this important in some way?" _

_"It might be. . ." _

_"I may have. But she died before I could find out."_

It was the coldness in the last comment that stopped Artemis from asking further. Butler had a large heart, but was it possible that some of it had already been claimed? Was that why the bodyguard was so good at concealing emotions?

Of course, he was good at concealing his emotions too, but that was because he hadn't had any serious ones before he had met the _real_ "underworld." His father's death and his infamous background had created his mask.

Was this feeling a result of loosing someone he had cared for, as if in death?

But she hadn't died.

And he didn't care for her.

At least he didn't think so.

_"Artemis?"_

_"Yes, Butler."_

_"You could always tell me what's on your mind, you know."_

_"I've been trying to figure that out myself, old friend. It's taking me a little while to analyze my symptoms and assess my personality on the Kiersey scale." _

_"I thought you said that it doesn't change." _

_"Quite true, Butler, but if a profound worldview shifts, it is quite possible that the Kiersey test will result in a different sequence. While the man definitely has some flaws in his system, it is adequate enough for my purposes. However, normally I can skew the results in order to distort his findings." _

_"What are you trying to discover?"_

What _was_ he trying to discover? The reason for the empty void inside his chest, the one he was sure was due to more than being thrust into a situation completely out of control.

Even if he could not fulfill his deepest wishes, he could try. He could try to live a relatively normal life (relatively _adv_- not absolutely, comparative to something else), he could adjust to loosing three years (after he got over puberty and certainly when he was out of college it wouldn't matter any longer), and he could stumble through being an older brother. Everyone with a sibling had to learn somehow, right? And. . .

_" Butler?" _

_"I thought you were still conducting research, Artemis." _

_"How'd you know what to do when Juliet was born?" _

_". . .Natural instinct." _

_"Seriously, Butler. . ." _

_"It's not rocket science, Artemis. Being a brother is basically just caring for your sister, well, sisters, so that they know that you're there, being so overprotective that they get mad at you, and making sure they don't get into too much trouble." _

_"That's it?" _

_"It's a little harder than it sounds, but those are the basics." _

So even I can do it?

_"And you shouldn't doubt yourself, Artemis. You're a good person."_

Well, at least someone thought that of him.

Besides his father, who didn't know all he had done and was perpetually trying to see the light in any amount of darkness.

Maybe the fairies thought that too? Now, at least.

Could she think that of him?

_" Butler."_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Is it a weakness to miss someone?"_

_"Of course not, Artemis."_

_"Can someone be so much a part of you that you feel lost when they aren't completely there?"_

_"Isn't your mother a testimony to that?"_

He was right. And even though she was still with him (not just spiritually, but physically too) it wasn't enough.

He definitely missed her.

Life was much harder to face without someone who doesn't owe you a thing but is there for you anyway; without someone who could make you laugh and know that you could be better than you are now, someday.

Without someone that makes you think that maybe there's a chance you _are_ human, after all.

Maybe she did owe him, after the horrible, unspeakable incident that he still hadn't processed completely. He'd technically saved her life. Or, at least, that was what she had said._ I remember. You saved me. _

If she "owed" him now, would that mean maybe she'd listen? Maybe she'd agree to be there when they needed each other. He thought she must need him too, sometimes.

Maybe he could have a chance at a "relatively" normal life, but the goal that had suddenly come to mind with startling clarity would have to wait quite a few years.

_" Butler?"_

_"I think I'm going to go work somewhere else."_

_"Would you let me visit Holly?"_

The bodyguard hid his shock well, but Artemis could still see it.

_"Visit. . .Holly?"_

_"She has something of mine."_

The truth. Figuratively and literally.

She'd taken his eye, but that wasn't her fault. And she had taken something else, something intangible. But Artemis was sure she hadn't done it intentionally.

_"She does."_

_"Yes."_

_"How are you going to go see her?"_

_"I was planning on getting Mulch to make the arrangements, but I suppose I'd much rather she came here."_

_"You want her to come here."_

_"Yes."_

_"And you want to get this thing of yours back?"_

_"Oh no."_

Artemis couldn't help but smile. A relaxed, honest grin that looked somewhat odd on the prodigy's face appeared. Odd, because it shifted his features to remove his mask, revealing a rapidly growing, handsome, sincere young man.

He was almost positive he had taken something of Holly's too. Something other than a liquid hazel eye, and of the same origins and purpose of what she had so stealthily stolen from him.

_"She can keep it."_

A/N: I hope you picked up on what they swapped. . .it was a Holly x Artemis one shot, after all. . .

Some effort put in, but I could have done a better job, lol.

Reviews MUCH appreciated, I need something to get me through my stupid bio final studying. . .

Actually, if you don't review, Artemis will unleash his amazing chess master-ness on you:-D

Thanks for reading, and if you liked, go look at my Avatar and Bleach fics, they are sometimes more fun this one XD

Until we meet again. . .

Conterra of Dondantre


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